Standing Room Only

By Peggy Haymes, Pinnacle Associate

The room was long and narrow, with two rows of chairs. This being a Baptist church, the really comfortable chairs filled the back row.

Although my instructions from the person in charge said not to change the room set up at all, I couldn't help but nudge the straight rows into a semblance of a semicircle. There wasn’t room to do much else.

As the large group session finished up,  people started trickling into my room. We chatted a bit as they settled in.

Then more people came in. 

Then more people came in and I went to get a few more chairs. 

Then those chairs were full.

It was time to start and the room was full, so I closed the door and welcomed the group.

But more people came in, first sticking their head in and then going off to find more chairs on their own. I joked with them that I’d soon be standing on the desk like Robin Williams in Dead Poet’s Society. I told them I’ve never been so surrounded, and it was true. On one side of the blackboard a late arriving woman sat in an added chair, and on the other side a friend from seminary sat on the floor.

They weren’t coming for me. My ego was perfectly clear about that. I only knew three people in the room. A few chaplains came for CEUs, but they certainly weren’t the majority. 

Mostly people came because it mattered to them.

I was leading a workshop on Grief as Spiritual Practice.

They came because they wanted to talk about grief and think about loss and how it all wove together in the life of faith. They were hungry for such a space and such a conversation.

Recently my work as a therapist has been through a major disruption as the Clearinghouse that helps my claims get to the insurance companies so they can be paid was hacked and shut down their services. While it made work more challenging for me, it was not as catastrophic as it was for some of my colleagues. 

Still, I found myself bringing it up far more than was necessary. Someone asked “how are you?” and I responded by talking about a Clearinghouse hack and how it’s affected my work while they stood awkwardly wondering why I didn't just say, “Fine. How are you?”

When I reflected on what I was doing and why, I realized it was because this was a major event in my life. Not for the whole scope of my life, but it dominated these few weeks in 2024. It changed the shape of my days.

It mattered to me.

I needed to say that.

Loss matters to the people in our churches, and they need ways to talk about their losses, whether the loss of a beloved spouse, a beloved home in which they raised a family, a beloved pet or physical abilities they once took for granted.

Loss matters and they need to talk about grief and think about loss and how it is all woven together in the life of faith. 

At Pinnacle, we can help you with those conversations. We can help through a Navigating GriefLand group in which people not only find space to talk about loss but also find a community of people who are on that same road.

We can help with a special weekend emphasis.

Or maybe your church needs something completely different. 

Contact us, and we’ll talk. Click HERE for more information.