Getting Framed

by Peggy Haymes, Pinnacle Associate

Some days you just want a sustaining membership in the Ain’t It Awful Club. Maybe attendance is down. Maybe giving is way down. Maybe the same people who were angry about the wear and tear on the front lawn left by kids running around are now the people complaining about the lack of young families and wondering what the pastor plans to do about it.

And yet, some people around us tell us that we should just look on the bright side. Isn’t that what faith is all about? You suspect they would have told folks on the deck of the Titanic not to complain because after all, it’s a clear night for stargazing and isn’t the music lovely?

By the way, we call that toxic positivity, not faith. Toxic positivity is a stance that militantly focuses on the bright side to the exclusion of any struggle, sadness, or any other kind of difficult or challenging emotion.

Neither Ain't It Awful nor toxic positivity is helpful in the long run. So what do we do when life and ministry present very real challenges?

Here’s where reframing comes in. Reframing is a tool used in both coaching and therapy that looks at things from a different perspective. Reframing acknowledges that many different things can be true at once.

For example, it may be absolutely true this is a challenging and transitional season in your church. About the only thing you know for certain is that what used to work isn't working any more. What is also true is that this is an opportunity to look at the life and work of your church with fresh eyes. When you can no longer sustain what was, you open the door for what can be.

Reframing doesn’t ignore the grief that comes with change and transition. While holding a space for grief, it also holds a space for the work of the Spirit known to be about birthing new things. Both things can be true.

One of the exciting things for me as a coach with our ReShaping Church process is I get to journey alongside churches working out of a new frame, and to witness their excitement as they dream about what God may be calling them to do.

Not how they re-create the church of a past generation but how they live into the new adventure of doing what they can, where they are, with what they have.

A healthy reframe acknowledges what has been and the challenges of the present day while opening the door to the possibilities of the future.

What’s your frame?