Enneagram Mantras for Stressed-Out Pastors
by Rhonda Abbott Blevins
I have taken every personality inventory on the planet. OK, that’s an exaggeration. But I’ve taken my share. None have been more transformative for me than the Enneagram. In fact, it was the Enneagram that inspired my doctoral project—a study of the spiritual practice of gratitude at the church I was serving at the time. The Enneagram taught me that gratitude is my primary pathway for spiritual growth and health, which is true for all Enneagram Sevens. I thought that surely, if I became an expert in gratitude, I would become a paragon of spiritual and emotional health. And while that didn’t exactly happen, I still hold to my original assertion: the Enneagram is a powerful tool for health and self-actualization.
The Enneagram can also be helpful in times of stress, which is in no short supply for many Americans. Several articles about clergy stress and health over the past few months have suggested that pastors are facing unusual pressures as we lead our churches into a post-pandemic/mid-endemic reality. Layer the usual holiday stress on top of that, and pastors may need an extra tool in our pastoral toolbelts to navigate these next few weeks.
With that, consider these “Enneagram Mantras for Stressed-Out Pastors.” (You may prefer to call them “breath prayers” if “mantra” is too fluffy for you.) If you know your Enneagram type, you can jump to your type and try the mantra on for size. If you notice the stress leaving your body as you recite the mantra, you know you’ve found a tool that can help you manage pastoral stress. If you don’t know your Enneagram type, I invite you to read through the descriptions and see if any of them depict your most natural way of relating to the world. Discerning your Enneagram type is a process; this can be a part of that process for you.*
The Enneagram One Pastor
The Enneagram One is the “Perfectionist.” As a type One pastor, you are naturally principled and realistic with a measure of idealism. The Enneagram One “Pastor as Idealist” may exhibit great wisdom when healthy; judgmentalism manifests as the shadow side of this personality type. Your unconscious childhood message was “It’s not okay to make mistakes.” The pathway to growth for the Enneagram One pastor is recognizing that perfection is illusory, and mistakes are inevitable. Give yourself a break, pastor! Learn to say to yourself, “I don’t always have to be the perfect pastor. I can make mistakes.”
The Enneagram Two Pastor
Selfless care is a hallmark of the Enneagram Two pastor. The “Helper” type, you are “Pastor as Caregiver,” ready to meet the needs of parishioners with care, empathy, and generosity. A nurturer by nature, the Two as pastor will sometimes give too much, which can lead to resentment and compassion fatigue. Less healthy Twos (even pastors!) can be manipulative and coercive. Because the unconscious childhood message was “It’s not okay to have your own needs,” Enneagram Two pastors can grow by setting healthy boundaries and tending to self-care. Before jumping in to help or rescue, take a deep breath and remind yourself: “I don’t always have to be the selfless pastor. My needs matter, too.” Then if Spirit still leads you to help, go for it!
The Enneagram Three Pastor
My, what you can accomplish, Enneagram Three pastor! Motivated and confident, you are the “Achiever,” the “Pastor as Motivator.” You make things happen. A self-assured performer, you are task oriented. The downside, however, may be that you demand too much from those around you on your way to the top. More than the other eight types, the Three struggles with deep self-knowledge. Opportunism and vindictiveness can manifest from a less healthy Three. As a Three pastor, you are on a path to growth when you begin to recognize that your worth as a human or as a pastor is not merely your accomplishments or productivity. Your church doesn’t have to be the biggest or the best. Tell yourself, “I don’t always have to be the successful pastor. I am more than what I accomplish.”
The Enneagram Four Pastor
You are one of a kind, and you know it. Innovative, artistic, even romantic, the “Individualist” as a pastor is intuitive and bold. With your propensity to creativity, you are the “Pastor as Creator.” Both self-aware and self-revealing, Enneagram Fours can devolve into self-destruction and self-inhibition. Your unconscious childhood message was “It’s not okay to be too functional or too happy.” As an Enneagram Four, your pathway to growth will involve allowing yourself to experience joy, finding unity and commonality with those in your orbit. Practice telling yourself, “I don’t always have to be the original pastor. I can enjoy my ministry.”
The Enneagram Five Pastor
If you are an Enneagram Five pastor, you have likely taken a deep dive into theology, church history, spiritual formation, or some other specialized area of ministry. You are the “Pastor as Thinker.” The smart, studious, observant type, the “Investigator” pastor can become sage-like if wisdom is gained alongside knowledge. Alternately, you can become detached from others, aloof in the world of concepts and ideas. Your unconscious childhood message was “It’s not okay to be comfortable in the world.” Growth for a Five pastor involves the ability to say to yourself, “I don’t always have to be the expert pastor. I can be emotionally available.”
The Enneagram Six Pastor
As the “Loyalist,” you are the “Pastor as Friend.” You are also the most anxious of the nine Enneagram types. This anxiety isn’t all bad—it can make you great at troubleshooting and foreseeing problems. You are hardworking and trustworthy. Responsible and engaging, you are great at community-building. Part of the reason for this well-developed capacity is that your subconscious childhood message was “It’s not okay to trust yourself,” often resulting in a lack of confidence in your own judgments. That’s why you build a strong network of friends to whom you are deeply committed. Your pathway to growth involves learning to trust yourself, telling yourself, “I don’t always have to be the capable pastor. I can take risks.”
The Enneagram Seven Pastor
Enneagram type Seven is the “Enthusiast.” You are the “Pastor as Catalyst,” a captivating, visionary leader juggling your many, varied ministry interests. An enthusiastic generalist, you can become compulsive, overwhelmed, and overextended having started multiple projects, sometimes simultaneously. Your subconscious childhood message was “It’s not okay to depend on anyone for anything.” Many Sevens live in the future, so the spiritual discipline of gratitude is a powerful tool for the Seven, grounding you in the moment. When you feel overwhelmed and anxious, try telling yourself, “I don’t always have to be the exciting pastor. I can be grateful in the moment.”
The Enneagram Eight Pastor
If you are an Enneagram Eight, you are the “Challenger.” Your default is self-confidence and decisiveness with a side dose of willfulness. You are the “Pastor as Leader,” able to exert great influence among your people. Powerful and confrontational, you may sometimes seem domineering to others. Your unconscious childhood message was “It’s not okay to be vulnerable or to trust anyone.” As a pastor or ministry leader, your growth edge involves allowing yourself a measure of human weakness, even vulnerability, recognizing you can ask for help. In moments of stress, relax and tell yourself: “I don’t have to be the strong pastor. I can ask for help.”
The Enneagram Nine Pastor
Sometimes congregations need a pastoral leader who is a “Peacemaker”—Enneagram type Nine. You seek peace both within yourself and in the world around you. You are “Pastor as Mediator.” Agreeable and diplomatic, you are an easy-going leader. Adept at making people feel heard and respected, you might “go along to get along” to a fault. A deep-seeded, hidden anger often underlies the peace-seeking nature of the Nine. Your unconscious childhood message was “It’s not okay to assert yourself.” But it is okay to assert yourself. Try sending yourself this message: “I don’t always have to be the unassuming pastor. I can assert myself.”
Let’s review the Enneagram Mantras for Stressed-Out Pastors:
• Type 1: I don’t always have to be the perfect pastor. I can make mistakes.
• Type 2: I don’t always have to be the selfless pastor. My needs matter, too.
• Type 3: I don’t always have to be the successful pastor. I am more than what I accomplish.
• Type 4: I don’t always have to be the original pastor. I can enjoy my ministry.
• Type 5: I don’t always have to be the expert pastor. I can be emotionally available.
• Type 6: I don’t always have to be the capable pastor. I can take risks.
• Type 7: I don’t always have to be the exciting pastor. I can be grateful in the moment.
• Type 8: I don’t always have to be the strong pastor. I can ask for help.
• Type 9: I don’t always have to be the unassuming pastor. I can assert myself.
I hope one of these mantras is helpful, dear pastor, as you navigate the ever-changing reality of church leadership. May you thrive in the days ahead!
Rev. Dr. Rhonda Abbott Blevins is a certified Enneagram trainer and the pastor of Chapel by the Sea in Clearwater Beach, Florida. She is the coordinator of Pinnacle’s Ascend Enneagram which offers Enneagram training, workshop, retreats and coaching for clergy and congregations.